In MARRIAGE the first and most important question to ask is 'why am I in this'? Now, do you sense there is a greater reason for being but don't know what it is? Have you had enough and you are tired? Does your marriage feel like grind? Do you feel unfulfilled and feel like quitting?
I have heard people say that there is no Mr or Mrs RIGHT and my question is usually this, Who is a Mr or Mrs Right? It is important you become self-aware so you can recognize the point of realization. A Mr or Mrs Right is someone that compliments you. Someone that suit you. Someone that completes you. A person that helps you to be you.
Everywhere today, people are searching for meaningful marriages. The story of romance continues to be taken for granted by millions and a lot of young marriages are suffering due to this misconception. What exactly is the joy of marriage if homes keep suffering and experiencing divorce? Is it the SEX or the SIDE CHICK?
More than ever, this is the time to come back to understanding of what the INSTITUTION is really created for. But we must start with knowing ourselves first, then see how we can encourage and walk with the other person involved. The fact is that when you fail to make your marriage work, you might probably be committing sin. Don't loose Christ because of your marriage.
MARRIAGE is a journey of love. In this movement you must first JOURNEY into yourself. Know why you are getting into it. Understand the duties in it. Then journey into your partner. Find out why he or she wants it. What his or her goals are and see how you can marry your goals and aspirations together.
Marriage is an institution that I see as something meant for irresponsible people. What do I mean? Understand that HAPPINESS does not come from the marriage. Happiness comes from finding your PURPOSE. If you can get this right you will understand what I am talking about.
Marriage is the coming together of two different people not just for the purpose of reproduction but for something more deeper than that. IRRESPONSIBLE people gets married but RESPONSIBLE people stay married.
Irresponsible in terms that two people from different back ground, culture and tradition or different ideology, met themselves, and liked each other, does not MEAN that they are responsible for each other. They become responsible when they get married and more responsible when they stay in the marriage. Irrespective of the ups and downs they would experience.
Being married means you have asked EACH other all the hard questions and you are ready to do it TOGETHER, no matter what. Getting to know the way to be in a better marriage, is learning to understand God and His PURPOSE for establishing the institution, both PHYSICALLY and SPIRITUALLY.
Marriage lived for the GLORY of God. It is important you know that in marriage there is an order of PRIORITY. The scripture of Genesis made us understand that God created Adam later on, He saw that the man was alone and He felt that it is not good for the man to be alone so He decided to create a woman to be a help mate.
Following this, YOU should know that there is an order of decision and ultimacy. The woman is to be a help mate for the man not the helper. God is the HELPER which made Him the Ultimate being in the marriage. Marriages are suffering today, because a lot of homes have LOOSE Christ completely because of lack of UNDERSTANDING. People see the husband as their happiness and completely forget the place of Christ in their homes.
When God is no longer the Ultimate in a home, there will definitely be a problem. The thing is this,today, a lot of homes are under evil manipulations. Yet PEOPLE don't seem to realize it. It may look physical but most time it is not physical. MISTAKES are not physical things. The good news is that there is a way out. There is still hope. You can still get your marriage back. You can make it work! All you need to do is to involve the Ultimate and then Strategize.
Wisdom comes by instruction and consistent learning brings understanding. Understand what the Bible says about MARRIAGE. The book of Proverbs says "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:"(1:5). When you read or hear something, there is a need to put the word of the Bible into practice.
Is your marriage experiencing pains, sorrow, hard times? Listen, somethings look physical but they are not physical. Sometimes we see things and take them for granted and before we can ever realize it, it's out of control. A lot of manipulations are going on in the spiritual world. There is a need to STAND and fight to make your marriage work. Physically and spiritually fight it out!
Marriage is an institution that represents Christ and the church. For this reason, the devil is fighting so hard to SEE that homes are being destroyed. I am saying this to you today, because I believe in YOU and I know you can make it work. Fight for it. The real problem is the devil. Kick him out of your HOME and let Christ take His place in your home.
Some marriages are suffering today, because of cheating, poverty, lack of understanding, domestic violence, and many more. These are evil and wicked plans of the devil to destroy homes and cause pains in the lives of people. Nobody is responsible for making people do the things they do but there are TRIGGERS that make some people do the things they do. The devil is the real enemy and the cause of every mistake or confusion.
Below are points listed that can help you manage your marriage.
1. Position Yourself.
Most times, women seem to complain more than the men because they are the victims. Maybe there is a side mistress somewhere. Do you have to compete with her? No, not at all. All you need to do is to position yourself. How do you position yourself? Ensure to know what triggers your husband. What does he like most? Is he the type that admire slim ladies? If he is, make sure you don't get fat and if you are fat, start an exercise class and watch your diet. Always listen to the comments he makes. Don't use it against him, rather walk on yourself to be what he is always talking about. However, if they are negative comments be very careful. Don't over do it. Just adjust and try to be happy and make him happy too. If your husband is the type that love talking, always make yourself available for him. Create exclusive time for him. You can even create time that you can take a walk with him while discussing. Share his ideas with him. You have to be submissive to your husband completely. Submission is a very important tool to maintaining a healthy marriage. WIVIES be submissive! It makes love blossom and ever green.
2. Adore Your Husband.
"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement"(1Peters 3:5-6). If you learn to obey the word of God, you will not only experience peace in your life but you will experience peace all-round. We live in a generation where women can not do certain things because they equal themselves with their husband. You must learn to adore your husband. Make him feel like the King that he is. For instance, maybe your husband comes back from work and you served him his food, well prepared with beaf meat and he liked it and said 'baby the food is nice but I wish there is goat meat in it.' Listen, don't waste time at all. Ensure you decorate the soup with goat meat so that the next time you serve him the food, it will look very fresh. Trust me that would do a lot of things to him psychologically. Make him feel special all the time. When you maintain submission in your home, you will keep Christ in that home. Christ is the symbol of the husband and wife is the symbol of the church. As the church is submissive to Christ, the wife must be submissive to her husband. Try this if you've not been doing it. I belt, you will testify.
3. Pray, it works!
Prayer, we all know is the master key. Pray always with your family. A family that prays together, stay together. The truth is that you can not separate Christ from the Church. Marriage is a symbol of Christ and the Church like I said in the previous paragraph. Once Christ is not in your home, there will always be crises. Pray before the wedding. Pray after the wedding. Pray in the marriage. If you are experiencing strange things in your marriage, Fight the war on your kneel. Prayer can never be a waste. Pray always, it works!
I hope this help your marital situation. You can make it work. Let's say no to divorce and embrace perfect love. Christ is the perfect love. Stand with him and He will guide your path. This is a fresh year. I wish you a very beautiful year ahead. Welcome to 2018. You can make it work! Happy new year.